It's wrong full.

It's official. I'm living a lift that is wrong full...but, I am more than confident that the things that are over-filling and crowding out the things that should be there can't - and won't - continue to stay much longer. I can't go on like this...so, as I continue to re-focus and stand on the promises given to me by the King for a full, abundant and free life, I seek out ways to return to a more simple life.

I am searching for ways to simplify again. It seems like I am forever-more revisiting the concept of down-sizing, simplifying, bringin' it back home...I have to get real about it all.

I am a woman, wife, mother, and full-time 'outside-of-the-home' employee. And, in addition, I work in long-term care in the area of rehabilitation management - a profession I thoroughly enjoy. On top of that, my husband is a teacher, student and we are adjusting as a family to pastoral ministry life - a deeper challenge than I ever imagined, indeed. There are days, self-admittedly, that I juggle all the balls well and other days, that one, two or all of the balls I am juggling fall and hit the floor hard. And, the past two weeks, I feel like the balls have come crashing down...why?

1.) My rehab department is short two full-time staff members - it puts a huge strain on myself and the rest of my staff.

2.) Our patient caseload has increased significantly at a time when our staffing is down - figures, huh?.

3.) I am working late alot. I am tired.

4.) I am so tired when I get home that priorities tend to fall by the wayside...I sleep when I can just to cope and go back and do it again.
5.) My sister says that the only time I call her is when I am going through a drive-thru late at night on my way home from work - and it's true - I am usually ordering when she says, "hello?"

I am not sure of the answer to all of this - yes...I do know the answer, but not quite sure how it will come.

As you read, I admittedly anticipate some responses:
-she's too busy - that's her own fault.

-she should just say no.

-she should reset her priorities.

-she's a complainer.

-she chose these things - why's she griping?

I have prayed sincerely for God to intervene and send me hard-working staff to assist my rehab team in providing great services to our residents. I feel a deep responsibility to this "mission field" of mine. I believe He has heard my prayer.

I am attempting to work on refining my time management skills while I am at work so that I can multi-task and free myself up in more reasonable time frames - even though I feel this is one of my strengths already - surely there is more I can do...

I need support. I need people to come along side me and help me. I do know my priorities. I don't desire to complain. I enjoy the life God has allowed me to live. I am searching for His direction in all of this. And...upon closer examination, He's teaching me through it. I am so glad I am His child. I am so glad that when I have these times of challenge, that He knows my name, sees each tear that falls, and hears me when I call!