Lamb

My mind is full today...hard to clear it. I am home from work with strep, which is no fun. I haven't slept well due to the pain. On days like this, I don't like noise. I relish the silence until it almost deafens me. The clock in the kitchen is ticking, the computer hummmms, and it is raining off and on outside. Mike and the kids are gone for the day. I love to sit in the dark...study, think and pray. These moments are far and few between. I don't feel well, but I'll take them any way they come. Good Friday notions scream out..."Crucify him, crucify him." A wooden cross, nails, thorns, holes in his hands and feet. I was there that day...on His mind. He thought of me. I can't imagine the suffering, the scorn, the pain.

I am only human. My mind doesn't stay focused the way it should. It wanders. I have concerns - carnal concerns. Lord, keep me focused on you. You are all that matters. You did it all for me. You will meet my needs - the needs of my family. You took the cross for me - why do I keep taking it up again and again and again? Today is Good Friday...I will remember the cruel cross...the blessed, beautiful, cruel cross. Thank you for the cross, Lord. Thank you for the nail-pierced hands. Worthy is the Lamb!

New camera...Yay!

I had an unfortunate mishap with my little Canon PowerShot camera on Christmas Day and picture taking just hasn't been the same since. So, for my birthday and our 12th anniversary, Michael and I bought a new camera to capture special family moments. We have been very excited to enjoy it, but had not had time yet to fiddle with it much. So, tonight, after the boys went to bed, Abigail was in a great mood and we took a few shots to try it out. We still have alot to learn about how to use it most effectively, but none the less, got some cutie-pa-tootie shots of 'punkin-head' right before bedtime. By the way, in case you hadn't heard, Ms. Abigail is now officially enrolled in pre-ballet classes. We are so excited for her. She now has her very own weekly event to go to and loved it! She had her first class 3-5 year old pre-ballet "Try Me" class on Monday, and afterwards, said, "Mommy, please tell my daddy that he needs to buy me fancy clothes now like my friends in my class [leotards, dance shoes, etc.]." She was the tiniest ballerina in her class and gave it her all. Needless to say, we have ordered the leotard, tights, leather ballet shoes (size 7 in little girls), 12" leg warmers, a warm-up sweater and a ballet bag. We are in hook, line and sinker! We are so proud of her!

Reasons

There are so many reasons that I love being a mom...but I must say that my three darlings make it so easy to love it. (Now, notice that I did not say that it was easy being a mom - just that I loved it!) But, I thought tonight, as my children lay sleeping, resting for the final day of school this week, that I would share 10 things that I particularly enjoy about each child.

Isaac...I love that you...:

1.) always go with the flow;
2.) complete artwork reflects your personality and is beautiful;

3.) love reading to your baby sister;

4.) never give up and are very confident;

5.) pray so genuinely and thoughtfully;

6.) love to help others - you get the missions concept!
7.) enjoy yourself everywhere you are;

8.) build awesome tents as large as a room out of blankets, chairs, pillows, etc

9.) like your hair a certain way, and no matter how hard I try, your refix it...your way.

10.) show incredible potential for the kingdom of Christ and I can't wait to see how He uses you!

Jonah...I delight in...:

1.) your unquenchable sense of humor;

2.) your passion - whether you are right or wrong;

3.) your ability to recall even the minutest details of an event that occurred years ago;

4.) your "no stick" days!

5.) watching you run from 3rd base to home!

6.) watching you lay in the bathtub, relaxin', knowing that you haven't used a drop of soap;

7.) seeing you delight in worms, dirt and bugs!
8.) your poetry:
"The Glorest [glorious] sun, the Glorest clouds

The Glorest mud, the Glorest rain
The Glorest trees, the Glorest wood

The Glorest rocks, the Glorest wind

The End by Jonah"
9.) your rosy-red cheeks that glow when your run your heart out;

10.) seeing you learn Scripture that I know God will use to grow you up in Him!


Abigail...it thrills my heart to...:

1.) paint your fingernails and toenails pink - so pretty;

2.) hold you "just one more minute" before bed;
3.) hearing you wake up in the morning and wanting a "snack" - no matter the time;

4.) play with your dolls and help you change their diapers - they sure do pee alot!

5.) let you "dry" my hair;

6.) go shopping with you;

7.) watch "Abby in Wonderland" for the 147th time;
8.) see you grow and have conversations with you;

9.) listen to you sing, "J-O-Y, down in my heart, deep, deep down in my heart";

10.) think about the ways that God is going to use your life!

I absolutely LOVE being a mom.

Little League is in full swing...Go Cubs!

The boys decided that they didn't want to play basketball in the local Christian school league this year. Although they had a great time doing it, after two years, they collectively decided that they wanted to try something new - baseball. So, daddy signed them up and they had their first practice last night. They had a great time catching ground balls, running bases and learning other basics. The next practice on Wednesday afternoon will include batting practice. To never have played on an organized baseball team before, Michael said the boys played great and hung right in their with the rest of the team. We are excited for them and can't wait to cheer them on this season.

When I asked Jonah what his favorite part of his first practice was, he said, "running!"


Good throwing arm, Jon!

Jonah worked hard to catch those grounders.

Isaac shows great technique - good arm, Isaac!

Isaac broke that new glove in fast!

Isaac is as fast as lightening! Run, baby, run!

Go Cubs!

Far better!

BETTER TO LOVE GOD AND DIE UNKNOWN THAN TO LOVE THE WORLD AND BE A HERO; BETTER TO BE CONTENT WITH POVERTY THAN TO DIE A SLAVE TO WEALTH; BETTER TO HAVE TAKEN SOME RISKS AND LOST THAN TO HAVE DONE NOTHING AND SUCCEEDED AT IT.

- E. Lutzer

I have been on a journey with the Lord the last few weeks - maybe months - in discovery, processing, learning, and stretching myself. It has led to a lot of lively marital discussions, often to discover that Mike, too, had been led - might we say - convicted, about the same areas that I was feeling the Holy Spirit lead me in as well. And, in our marital experience, we have always been able to discern His direction and leading very clearly and simply by realizing that God had brought us to the "same place at the same time." It is never coincidence that we have been studying the same things in our private time with the Lord, or that we felt the "umption" (is that a word??) of the Spirit in the same direction. I believe it is the fruit of two lives walking together in the oneness of a marriage with Christ at the center...what an incredible experience to sit across the table from your spouse, share your heart, expressing what you feel the Lord is doing in your life and have it all confirmed by what God is doing in his life as well. It just doesn't get any better than that!

It has happened so many times before. In the areas of career decisions, job changes, family building, life choices, missions experiences, choosing to adopt, accepting the call to ministry, and many, many other things, He has brought us to a decision-making point, we obeyed, and He was faithful.

Now, we are at another crossroads. But, not necessarily one the world will understand - and they shouldn't necessarily, at all. It is not a decision in which we will 1) decide to purchase something; 2) choose to move locations; 3) accept a call to complete a missions experience. All of these things are good. And, we may or may not do one or more of these things. But, this time it is different-much different. You see, we are dealing with a heart issue...God is continually changing our hearts. And, boy, I am sure glad that He doesn't leave us where we were.

We have been broken. We have been brought down by a single encounter - where we needed to be all along. God has shown us some things that we were missing in our Christian experience. We have decided that although we have accepted Christ and attempt to live our lives as such, that we are failing miserably. Is Jesus pleased when He sees us live when there are those who are dying - right in our own neighborhoods? Is He pleased when we act like it is all we can do to get to Sunday School by 9:30 a.m. to "fellowship" and eat breakfast with other believers in the comfort of our own church building when children under our direct church influence don't have anything to eat for breakfast? Is He satisified with my worship on Sunday mornings when we haven't spent time on Saturday night preparing our hearts and minds - we've been busy or preoccupied? When we haven't spent Saturday reaching out to those who are lost, to those who are dirty, sick, tired and worn? Are we closing our eyes to it? Are we so focused on our pleasures, our own "fellowship," our own appearances, our own schedules and desires that we forget those living in the local trailer courts, the children with no homes/mothers/fathers, the ones with no breakfast to eat? Do we seek them out when they come in our buildings? Do we look for them in the community? Or do we turn the other way - literally? I admit that my eyes have often been closed alot more than they should have been...I have forgotten to look around me. Now, they have been opened for me.

It is time for us to turn off the television, turn off the Blackberry, save our 'eating out money' to buy groceries for a hungry family, turn off the news and get our eyes of the $$$$ that the world is telling us is the most important thing! Get real with people, reach out to the hurting, encourage the discouraged, get over ourselves, feed the hungry , share our testimony with someone who needs Jesus, take time to think as individuals and families about a specific way to reach out...then do it. Get uncomfortable. Get tired. Stretch yourself. Then, I believe, we will transform our lives in Christ - maybe even transform the church!

BETTER TO LOVE GOD AND DIE UNKNOWN THAN TO LOVE THE WORLD AND BE A HERO; BETTER TO BE CONTENT WITH POVERTY THAN TO DIE A SLAVE TO WEALTH; BETTER TO HAVE TAKEN SOME RISKS AND LOST THAN TO HAVE DONE NOTHING AND SUCCEEDED AT IT.

– E. Lutzer

She's got it.

Abby has the flu - full blown, out-right, ugly, no-fun flu. She has had a fever as high as 105 degrees and lots of other 'gory' symptoms I will spare you the details of. It is hard to see your children going through difficult times and not being able to completely rescue them from it. But, for the most part, our children are pretty healthy and for this we are thankful and blessed. Abby and I have spent much time in the "tepid water tub" the last couple of days and and I must admit this is not one of Abby's favorite activities. She and I have discussed at length (as much as you can between a mother and an inquisitive 3 year old) that this helps wash the 'sickies' away. But, for some reason, she doesn't seem to like sitting in a bath of lukewarm water in the middle of night until her fever comes down - not exactly her idea of a fun time, I guess. She has been a brave little girl though. And, we hope that she starts feeling much better real soon. In addition, we are praying that the 'sickies' stay far, far away from the rest of us as well!

I had a conversation today...

I had some interesting conversations with friends today ... I tried mostly to listen and interject when God gave words and wisdom. The topic just happened to be about raising our various aged children, pop culture, media, teens, a new popular controversial book series', peer pressure, the 'everybody's-doing-it mentality', and so on. I was so broken hearted as I heard parents, friends and acquaintances speak so boldly that they "...hate not to let my child wear it...'' or "...feel like a bad parent if I don't let them read it..." because ALL the other little girls/boys are wearing it or reading it.

I am truly of the persuasion that the Christian home needs a MAKEOVER, PEOPLE! We are not of the world...only in it for a little while. Since when do we CONFORM??? We are supposed to be different -- anybody have the desire to be peculiar? We definitely do! And, you know what we have figured out? Hardly anyone will understand the decisions you make as a Christian family. And, the world shouldn't completely understand it - sometimes those who call themselves Christians don't either. The Christian family should look alot different than other families - they should look at us...the love, the peace, the joy, the service, the faithfulness, the ministry...and want what we have.

I want an Extreme Christian Home Makeover...I want people to walk in my home and scream..."WOWEEE - now this is some kind of different!" I want it to be a place that my kids want to be in... a peaceful, fun, happy place where conversation is not unusual, where laughter is commonplace, where family dinners - even when simple - are around the table and begun with prayer, where Jesus Christ is welcome, and where we march to a different beat than the world.

We don't want the media to have a foothold in our home. We are fighting that influence...not just ignoring it, but meeting it head on, talking about it, dealing with it, teaching our children about it, and above all, looking to God when there is nothing left to say but,
"Welcome home, Bell Family, Welcome home!