Passion and Intensity

I bought this book yesterday that has really got me thinking about these two words - passion and intensity. The title sparked my interest and I am so excited to get into the meat of it. All evening, while riding in the car and spending time with family yesterday, I kept think about these words...passion/intensity. I wonder if I display any of these characteristics in my daily walk with the Lord. It has been great food for thought.

It seems to me that there were very few - if any - scriptural accounts that did NOT reflect some degree of passion or intensity. Some that immediately cross my mind were when Christ sweat drops of blood, when Zaccheus climbed the sycamore tree to see Jesus, when Jesus displayed his anger at the selling that was taking place at the temple, when the woman intently reached out to touch the hem of his garment, when Mary and Martha asked Jesus why He had not come sooner when Lazarus died, when Peter adimantly denied Christ, when Paul preached the gospel and was imprisoned for His faith...there are so many that my mind is directed to.

It appears to me that our Christian experience - our journey - should be passionate! It should be intense! As Christians, we follow a passionate, intense Christ! We must passionately pursue Him, seek Him with intensity, share Him with drive and desire to see others come to Him.

Are we walking lazily through this life, just glad to be here, just barely making it? Are we passively hoping that others will catch a glimpse of our "Christianness." Are we focused on ourselves, our comfort, our lives, our material possessions, our happiness, our dreams, our plans? Are we attending Sunday morning corporate worship out of obligation and putting on an "I'm alright, your alright" attitude for two hours? Are we fulfilling an obligation to teach a class or sing a song so we can "feel" like we've worshipped or served?

Some thoughts that my heart is examining and dealing with this morning - please join me:

*how long it may have been since we took a lost friend to lunch and verbally expressed face to face our concern for her soul;

*how many times we come to church "hoping" we won't sing the same songs we sang last time or that the music will be 'entertaining' - when in reality there are Christians around the world who just long to get together with other Christians and sing ANY song together - i.e. Chinese underground Christians;

*how many times we knew that God had placed someone on our hearts to all/contact/visit/pray for that we just did not take seriously;

*how many among us need us to be real - not perfect, not having it all together - but real;

*how many times we've acknowledged to others around us what God is doing in our life, how His Word is penetrating our lives;

*how many times we have ACTUALLY read His word this week - not just a book about His word, but actually allowed His word to speak to us and change us;

*how many times recently we have been passionate about our love of Christ, our love for my family, our commitment to our church;

*how many times we have passionately and intensely prayed in the Spirit - praying for our will to line up with His will completely;

*how many times we have taken a risk for the cause of Christ?

Alot to think about today...

The best laid plans...

And, at this time, I still haven't found it. I have been sitting here on my NEW COUCH waiting for a blogging revelation and it has yet to come. I have looked out the window, looked at my children, waited on my husband to say something profound - yet nothing! I have nothing to say of immediate importance, nothing from a recent book that changed my life, nothing that is affecting me emotionally or socially.
Except -
I took the day off today to be with my sweet family...I desperately needed a "down-time" day and so far it has totally met my expectations. The children slept in, Abby slept in her bed all night, Mike had put my favorite flannel sheets on the bed last night so I'd be cozy, the phone hasn't rung even one time yet and I woke up feeling pretty relaxed, settled in and peaceful. It is really nice.

The only plans we have for the day are to visit a local town festival, walk lazily through, eat something yummy, wander through the craft booths
and visit the my in-laws tonight for dinner.

I plan on not hurrying around much today - I'm hurried out!
I plan on not rushing around much today - I'm rushed out!
I plan on not working today - I'm worked out!
I plan on not worrying today - I'm worried out!
I plan on not doing much of anything - I'm anything'd out!
Sounds like fun, huh?

Goodbye to my couch...

Sorry for all the pictures, but please allow me to reminisce and grieve a little :(

I am sitting now in the middle of my living room floor surrounded by - well - nothing. We finally succombed to the worn-out,ugly couch syndrome and have ordered a new couch, oversized chair and ottoman for our living room. The delivery company practically guaranteed it would be delivered tonight, but - you guessed it - they didn't show. (Said their truck broke down??)

I must admit that we have had our current living room suit for almost 10 years. And, I am mighty pleased with the new chocolate brown microsuede set coming. However, I must also admit that at about 2:30 a.m., I woke up realizing that this would be the last night that I would be able to sleep on my old one. So, I got up quietly and came into the living room alone - really - I did! Michael was sound asleep so I laid down on the couch and tried to fall asleep, but floods of memories came back to my mind. I know - many of you are laughing hideously at me at this moment - but you have to understand...we've been through some serious stuff on this couch!

I remembered the time I went with my friend Michelle to shop for this couch 10 years ago. I suppose it was sort of an impulse purchase during a tough time of sorrow in my life. (Whatever possessed me to buy a red, plaid couch? Michelle, why didn't you stop me?) Well, anyway, it was the one I loved at the time and somehow it allowed us to change something in our home and feel like we were starting a fresh, new chapter in our lives.

I remember sitting on that couch and crying almost incessantly over the deaths of my two biological children. I remember watching UK basketball games with my hubby on that couch. I remember laying many, many nights to read and study the Word - many nights I experienced special times with the Lord on that couch. I remember sitting and staring at 10 different Christmas trees from that couch and anticipating Christmas morning with my children the last 6 years. It has been my "quiet time" place for years. I remember sitting on that couch to have long phone conversations with my sister. I remember my parents and in-laws sitting on that couch and playing with my children. I remember my shear delight in finding lost items in the cushions. I remember sitting on the far right side of the couch the night that Michael told me that he was completely on board to adopt internationally. I remember collapsing on that couch many days after working hard all day. I remember always trying to find ways to make that couch look right in my home - but in the end - what can you do with red plaid? I remember sleeping on that couch with my children when they were sick or afraid. I remember sleeping on that couch while Michael was on mission in Haiti so I could be closer to my children and as far away from our bedroom as I could be while he was gone. I remember Michael taking naps on that couch on Saturday mornings while the kids watched a movie. I have seen all three of my children come home to play, sleep, sit, snack, read, snuggle and watch t.v. on this couch .

Michael always says that I can put words to anything and make it sound relevant. Please don't misunderstand me. I don't worship this couch. But, at times like this, I find it easy to reflect on where our lives have been the last 10 years or so. The couch is now in the garage and we hope to find it a good home. I anxiously await my chocolate brown microsuede set.

But, I must say that I don't expect the new couch to carry the weight the old one did.

Red plaid will always hold a special place in this heart!

On this Sunday, we are thankful for...

-...my Christian friends...what would I do without you? I am incredibly, unworthily blessed with an overabundance of good friends who love me just the way I am, believe in me even when I am wrong, and enjoy me for who I am.

-...brothers - the bond that I never was able to experience having had only one female sibling. I now realize that the bond pervades all relational boundaries. They are brothers through thick and thin. There is nowhere they would rather be than with each other - though if you ask them they may say otherwise.
Where one is, there is the other - so handsome!
...beautiful smiles and relaxing days outside. It is absolute one of the best things to watch your children enjoy each other. They may bicker from time to time, but my children mostly smile when they are together. And, they truly do enjoy being together. Abby lights up when her brothers come around. She says, "My Boys!!" And, they absolutely adore her. They love to help her do "big girl" things, like climb up the swingset ladder, ride her Dora car, or play with her toys. When she succeeds with potty training issues, they are happier for her than anyone in the house, I think.
...books.

I love to read...have to do it every day.

Seasonal gift...

There is so much in my life that is yet to be shared - so much that I am often overwhelmed and have difficulty deciding what is blog-worthy. But, often I find that many of you share with me something that touched you that pehaps others were not as affected by...thereby, the hodge-podge of blogging material. Tonight is no exception...

At work, we have been celebrating National Rehab Week. I don't often refer to my career in my blog because although I love what I do and try to give 110% to it while I am there, it is only one small part of who I am. However, I have been an occupational therapist since 1996 and am pleased to have been employed the last (almost) six years in long-term care. I truly feel blessed to have been provided with this great opportunity close to my home to work with the elderly of my community. But, I also must admit that it is often an emotionally and physically challenging work environment. So, it is nice to take a week to celebrate your accomplishments with your colleagues. Our administrator was kind enough to take us all out for a great afternoon lunch yesterday. I had gifts for all of the team, however they also surprised me with a purely delightful thank you gift that I had to share with you...right down my alley. I love primitive decor and they gave me these delightful fall pumpkins from Demdaco. And - you just can't beat Candleberry Candles in the Honey Buttered Rolls scent, can you? Smell it? Do you have the smell-a-blog feature installed on your computer? I hope so...divine, huh?

Random-ness...

...random things to ponder? Yes, my mind is full of random-ness tonight. There are more than a few times a year that I am really focused and driven in one or two specific areas. On the flip side, there are many more times a year that I am not particularly focused or driven at all, but living my life in random-ness. My mind floats in various directions and wanders aimlessly about with no final destination in mind. I think about things...this problem, that situation, their circumstances, my emotions, his passions, our goals, my failures, our dreams, their futures, his pain, her...you get the drift, right??? I have total random-ness of thought. Wouldn't it be great if I could focus enough tonight to write about a single topic of spiritual interest or describe a recent family event in detail? But, tonight, all you get is random-ness. For instance, I have not felt very well the last couple of days - it always distracts me when I don't feel well. I have even noticed in my prayer life that I am often distracted - and until recently - I thought this was a failure on my part during prayer. But, I have discovered that it is very possible that my random distractions - thoughts that enter my mind during prayer - may actually be the Spirit's way of guiding me in prayer. When I am resolute in prayer - focused - trying to stay in tune with God, and then have a random thought enter that I used to think was solely from Satan himself to distract me - may actually be the Holy Spirit's guidance to refocus my prayer time. I have found now that those random thoughts I have - things I need to get done, people in my life, worries, distractions - are actually the things I need to be praying about at that particular time. They are the REAL concerns of my heart that are worthy of prayer - not the formalities that I pretend to be praying alot of the time. Yes, you read correctly - I struggle with prayer! I practice it almost continually, but again struggle with prayer. But, I believe so strongly in prayer that I don't give up. Other random thoughts passing through my aching head...

-halloween costumes for all three children are ordered and on their way;
-need to send my state occupational therapy license renewal in this week;
-I am grateful for getting to come home a little early from work today;
-looking forward to the Fall Festival of Marriage in Oct.;
-disappointed my diet is not going so well this week;
-potty training my almost 3 year old;
-need to get the boys Cub Scout manuals and uniforms bought;
-concern for my friend who just had surgery;
-feeling like I can't ever catch up, get everything done, be everything that everyone needs me to be;
-considering God's call to ministry for my husband and where this may or may not lead;
-laundry;

...just the tip of the iceberg I guess -
there is so much more underneath - below the surface of

a life lived to be real but in reality being so artificial

- only allowing folks to see what's above the water and not beneath...
I need to get real!

On this Sunday, we are thankful for...

On our way home from lunch today, we were talking about how grateful we were for the life God has given us and the blessings He has so mercifully given to us to enjoy. Thus - an idea was born...making my quiet Sunday blogging time a time to focus on what we as a family are grateful for. Please understand that I am always thankful for my relationship with Christ, my husband, my children and my church family. However, we are surrounded with so many other awesome pleasures of creation to enjoy. My plan is to highlight 3-5 of them each Sunday afternoon as the Lord allows...so here goes.

I am thankful for pumpkins, fall displays, the color orange, and cooler temperatures.

I am thankful for Abigail's little smocked dress she wore to church this morning - absolutely adorable...I truly enjoy this stage in her life when we can choose such sweet little dresses for her...

I am thankful that Mike has had such a great teaching career. He has been teaching elementary and secondary music, band and choir for 13 years. When I asked him why he was thankful that he had been a teacher, he said...

"because it has made me a better father."

I am thankful this day!