Thursday, August 21, 2008

I believe...help my unbelief...

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors"


Tonight, Michael and I sat down after the children went to bed and had a wonderful heart-to-heart regarding "prayer." It is truly a divine blessing in my marriage that we are able to talk openly day-in and day-out about the things of the Lord. I am so pleased that we are at the point that it is on our lips as our family - as we go out and as we come in. And, tonight was no exception. With Michael's newly acquired "seminary" experience - be it ever so brief - and my evergrowing desire to read, study, think, ponder and analyze, we end up talking more, sharing ideas and learning from one another.

The last couple of weeks, while reading Philip Yancey's book on Prayer, I have been reflecting on why I pray, where I pray, when I pray, and what my expectations are for prayer. I also have begun "questioning" prayer - if you want to call it that. And, that is exactly where our conversation went tonight - whether or not is o.k. to question prayer. My final resolution to this matter in my mind tonight is that questioning God (as a new Christian might, as a more mature Christian might during a time of trial or testing, or as someone might who has not yet accepted Christ) can be viewed by some as allowing Satan to tempt you to not believe or allowing Him to distract you or cause you to doubt so that His will won't be accomplished in your life.

I, however, strongly feel that the mature Christian - the Christian who is walking daily with the Lord, seeking a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him - will and should question on some level. Now, don't get me wrong. We all doubt at times. We all question God at times. This is not what I am referring to at all. My point is that we shouldn't just pray - we should question why we pray, how we pray, etc. We should always be seeking wisdom from on high. We should desire to know more - not to pray ritualistically, but to seek answers from the character and spirit of God. When our prayers aren't answered in the way or time we think they should be, is it o.k. to ask God why? I believe that in asking "why," we are admitting to God that we are seeking His will - that we want to understand His will for our lives at a more intimate level. Even Jesus questioned God's answers or lack there-in at times. After going to spend extensive time in prayer prior to the choices He would make for His disciples - the twelve men that would walk and talk with Him during His time on earth - he groaned in frustration, saying, "How much longer must I put up with you?" In essence, one interpretation is that Jesus may have been questioning the Father's decision in the choices for disciples. Jesus also prayed that He would be delivered from the cross - but then had to ask the Father, "Why have you forsaken me?"

In the footsteps of my Savior, tonight I am questioning - "Lord, why? Show me more of you. Whisper small answers to me. Give me footprints toward your character...I will follow them to learn more - I want to understand You more so I can pray for Your will to be done in my life and in the lives of those I care about." How can I learn more if I don't ask Him? Even this week, I thought I surely saw Him answering a long-time prayer of mine. I have thought for so long that He was answering my prayer by telling me to wait - and I felt sure that now He was telling me this was the time. Then - closed...the door closed...maybe temporarily...maybe forever. So, I stand questioning "why" tonight. Not to push myself farther away from God...but to draw closer so I can hear His voice more clearly.
Lord, I believe...help my unbelief!!!!!!!


No comments:

 
style>